Today we went to see the movie Rise of the Guardians with the boys.
I cried.
I I missed this face. I missed this smile. I wanted to hold this little boy. I wanted to feel his soft baby skin and kiss his sweet little lips and chubby little cheeks. I longed for this pain to be gone.
The movie was awesome! It was about Santa Claus, the Tooth fairy, the Easter Bunny, the Sandman and Jack Frost as the guardians of children. They were responsible for keeping their dreams alive. They were the heroes. Then there was Jack Frost. No one believed in him. He was a bit mischievous, he was a son, a brother and had gorgeous blue eyes. Did I mention that he died as a result of drowning?! My heart broke. But then Coby reminded me that he was a Guardian...a guardian ANGEL. Our Guardian angel. And then it was okay. Because I KNOW that he IS our guardian angel. Oh, how I miss that little angel of ours.
This December has flown by so fast that we didn't make it to the cemetery until a few days before Christmas. We didn't even decorate his tree. I felt bad. But I know that he's NOT actually there. Maybe that's why we don't go there very often. I feel Jack here...with us. I feel him everywhere we go. What a blessing it is to know that he's close. And that when we need him, he knows and is always there. I know that he loves us. I know that he's "doing a great work". I know we are an eternal family and that it's only a matter time until all together again. I wish I had some sort of idea as to WHEN it would be, but for now I have faith it WILL happen...someday!
Merry Christmas baby boy. I keep asking Cole to tell us all the happenings of heaven...but he's keeping a lid on things! Please remind whoever is in charge up there that I didn't get my Christmas phone call this year...or for the last 4 years to be exact! We miss you. We love you more than you could ever know. I'm glad you get to spend Christmas with our Savior. What could be better than that??!!
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