Tonight Coby and I thought we'd spend some quality time with Corbin. It was definitely over due and in much need. Jaden went to my mom's for a sleepover and Coby and I took Corb out to dinner and for a little bowling.
Corbin hasn't exactly been the easiest to deal with these days. He REFUSES to read...which is a problem almost every single day. He threatens Coby and I (ie. "Well, fine...if you won't give me my allowance...I guess I just won't read." OR "FINE...I will do (whatever we are asking him at the time) IF you let me..."(whatever he's wanting to do at the time). He RELENTLESSLY teases Jaden. He'll flat out tell us NO. He loves making ninja stars and leaves his paper messes out constantly. And then refuses to clean up his messes. In a nutshell...Coby and I are REALLY losing our patience FREQUENTLY.
I have been called to teach Relief Society and last Sunday my lesson was on Kindness. I had time to think about my lesson all week. This week, for some reason I have been the MOST unkind. I've been snapping at Coby and the boys, my mom and just about anyone that crosses me. I'm easily irritated and find myself short tempered and constantly ROLLING my eyes for some reason or another. So, teaching this lesson was definitely inspired!
Lately, the boys have been wandering into our bedroom late at night or early early in the morning. Coby and I still have a queen sized bed. Lately this is the routine. I sleep on the left and am HUGE with growing a little human in my belly (so we count as 2) . Coby sleeps on the right (3). In the middle of the night Jaden nuzzles his way into the middle (making that 4). Then Pup finds her spot at the foot of the bed (Holy freaking 5). The other night after all 5 of us were trying NOT to fall out of the tiny bed...Corbin thought he needed to join the party. We told him No that there wasn't enough room, but he didn't seem to care and decided to attempt to make his way into any space he could. He pushed Jaden out of the way and Jaden whined EVER SO LOUD. At this point in the story, you must know that I'm already in a SUPER bad mood due to the pregnancy and the uncomfortableness and Corb was the final straw. I had HAD it! I yelled at him to GET OUT and to just go back to bed in his own room. He got right up and said, "Fine...I will." Then I heard him shut his bedroom door.
I instantly felt kind of guilty for yelling at him so UNKINDLY. Then Coby said, "You know...you really need to be nicer to him. You were really mean just now." Then I REALLY felt bad. I got up out of bed and waddled over to find Corb in his bedroom with the light on and leaning up against the door. I forced my way in and there he was, crying the saddest tears I'd ever seen. I was instantly humbled and felt like the worst mom on the face of the planet because I knew...I DID that! I caused that little boy that only wanted to be near the rest of the entire family to hurt. I felt worse than horrible. I'm often quietly reminded that Corb is sweet and that my constant yelling is robbing him of that sensitive and sweet boy that ever KIND and always forgiving attitude. He let me in and even let me hug him. I apologized and told him just how sorry I was that I wanted to see if I could snuggle with him in his bed. He seemed a little taken back and welcomed me happily. His whole attitude had changed and once again I was humbled at the unconditional love that he has for me. We watch a few Curious George episodes together and I the next morning we woke up and made pancakes (his favorite) together before school.
I LOVE Corbin so much. He is kind. He is good. He may be a handful at times but overall I think I am pretty luck to have such an amazing little boy as a son. I hope that I will be more mindful of this especially with the new baby that he needs attention too. That he needs to feel that he's not just another one of our kids, but that he genuinely matters. I hope that I never make him feel like that again.