Thursday, August 25, 2011

For my birthday I wish....

This year for my birthday I only have one request.  One wish.  One desperate plea.  Come back baby.  I miss you so much.  

My heart is aching to hold him tonight.  Aching for just a glimpse of what he'd be like today.  I feel like I can't breathe.  I can't stop my tears tonight.  I don't want to turn another year older without him here.  I don't like that time just keeps trucking on and he's not here to truck along with us!  I want to hear his laugh and pull his sweet toe head into my leg.  How could he be gone twice as long as he was even here and my heart feel so hopeless and empty for him?  I will never be over this and there is nothing I can do about it.  So I guess I'll just keep moving forward.  Never forgetting.  Always longing.  Longing for that sweet, beautiful boy that loved me so perfectly he'd have to be an angel.  At least I got 16 months to love an angel on earth.  I feel so blessed to have held him for 1 year, 4 months, and 3 1/2 days.  Someday it will all be worth it....just not tonight.

6 comments:

Ashley said...

Sending my love tonight, because I know that feeling all too well. Happy Birthday!

Love,
Ash

abbyandcompany said...

Sweet, sweet boy. Sometimes I wonder how different time passes beyond the veil. When you see your Jack again will it only feel like an instant for him, while it seemed like an eternity on earth for you? I don't know. I'm sorry you are hurting and extra tender tonight. I hope the morning light brings peace and that your birthday will make you feel a tiny bit better.

The Rich's said...

It makes me feel so sad to know that you are hurting, especially on your birthday. I hope at least you had a great night with Coby. Sending my love your way!!!!!

Melanie B said...

i am so sorry you're hurting. I'm sitting here praying and wondering what to say and the only thing that comes to me is; look back on your older blog posts, this is what I see; I see this beautiful girl with all of these beautiful people in her life. I see this joyful mom and and I see this pain and I the only thought that comes to me is Heavenly Father must love her so much, so much that he would trust her with that little angel and all the other living angels in her life. I am grateful you are a living angel in my life. Happy Happy Birthday!

Sunshine Promises said...

Oh Tiffany, Oh Tiffany . . .
My heart aches - JUST ACHES - with you. Your heartfelt wishes echo my own. Your Angel boy is such a doll. I want to kiss him right through the screen! I can't wait to meet him in person and get to know his personality in the ways you've described him. I have not had a Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas or birthday without him. But I can imagine that some of these same feelings will come. Sometimes you expect them and other times you don't. But my prayers will saturate the heavens in your behalf. You are loved. You are loved. xoxoxoxo

Krissy said...

I ran across your blog through Ashley's blog and saw that you lost your little boy at almost to the exact age that I just lost my little girl. I couldn't help but immediately hurt for you knowing how much of a void those sweet spirits are in our homes. I'm so sorry... I hope your birthday was special.