16 Years in the making...GONE

A few months ago, my cute friend Kellie gave me a gift certificate to get my hair cut.  The last time I had my hair cut was when I was 16, and going into my senior year of High School.  I went to Fantastic Sams...in JACKSON, MI and inadvertently made a HUGE mistake!  I mistake that has taken me almost 16 years to get over!!

 

Here is the BEFORE picture....

And here is the During picture...

I was obviously too scared to pose...(now that's SCARED)

And there it is....9 inches of my blond locks...just sitting there....lonely all over the floor!

But after a little wash...

And a little stylin'....I was a happy girl!

Here's a shot of the back

And the front....

I love it!  I didn't think I would...but truly I think it turned out great!  I like it, Coby likes it and that's all I need!  :)  Thanks Kell....LOVE my cut!  Thanks for being patient!!  Can't believe I didn't do this sooner!!

Makin' Candy

Today we decided to try our candy making skills out with all the Rich girls.

Here's Livvy in her very own apron

And Duncan in his...very cute!!

The kids were having fun twirling around in them.

It was pretty cute!

Marse was in charge of some sort of truffle..and Whit's always wanted to make homemade toffee.

Anna-Lisa was making sure our Carmels were PERFECT!

Here are our Candy making EXPERTS!!

We even used candy thermometers and everything.

Marse was going for firm balls...I mean firm ball

It took a while...but eventually she got the candy to the right temperature ...

...and her FIRM balls were ready!

SEE.....  Marse your balls are PERFECT!!  

It was so fun to get together with my cute sister in laws.  We always laugh WAY too much, eat even MORE and have a ball! 

Jack's Christmas Tree

Every year for the past 4 Christmas' we've had the misfortune of decorating a little tree for our little Jack.

We always decorate it in different colors of Blue...to match his beautiful eyes.

Here are all our supportive decorators.  

I keep hoping that every year decorating a little tree for our angel will get easier.  It doesn't.  It still hurts.  It hurts almost as bad as the day we had to lay him to rest.  I wish he were running around with his brothers instead of his brothers running around withOUT him through a cemetery around Christmas.  I dislike that this has become our family tradition now.  I really dislike knowing that the world hasn't stopped turning.  

Today has been an especially hard day.  I hope it's because he's nearby.  Maybe he misses us as much as we miss him.  At least he gets to look in on us.  I wish I could look in on him.  I wish I could see his eyes and not just in a picture.  I wish I could feel his breath as he slept.  I wish I were pulling my hair out because he talks too much, or because he is fighting with his brothers.  I guess I'll never know those little annoyances I wish I were taking for granted at this point in our lives.

I miss him.  I miss him so much that I don't want to do anything but stare at the wall.  I keep myself so busy because it helps me mask just how much pain I'm actually in...every.single.day!  It's hard...it's still so hard knowing he's really gone.  I want to know why he had to leave...but that's just a road not worth going down.  I have accepted the fact that he wasn't supposed to be here.

But it's Christmas.  I want to see his face on Christmas morning as he's anxiously ripping through the wrapping paper to find his treasures.  I'll never know what that will feel like with Jack.  He was too little.  Today I found myself trying to pull Jaden's head into my leg to see if he is the same size.  He's not.  Sometimes I just want to close my eyes and pretend that it's all a bad dream.  And that if I close my eyes tight enough I might wake up from this nightmare and all will be as it should be.

Well, the reality is that things ARE as they should be.  They are not the way I'd want them to be...but they are what they are and they are NOT, nor were they EVER in my control in the first place.  Jack was merely on loan for a VERY SHORT 16 months and 3 days.  

And for that I'm grateful.  Grateful, for those short months. So, I'll close my eyes and be happy for the time I DID get with him.  He was and still is one of the 4 greatest gifts I've ever received.  I have been blessed and I know it.  And more than that, I know God knows it.

Merry Christmas my sweet little blue-eyed boy.  We miss you.  We know you are near.  We know you watch over us.  We know you love us as we love you.  Stay close...we still need you.  We long to look into your eyes and kiss your sweet face.  Someday....we'll have the desires of our hearts. Put in a good word for us so we can bring another brother or sister down.  We've been trying without much luck.   We're counting on you Jack.   - Love mom.

Breakfast with Santa

Every year Coby's mom and her siblings take turns hosting Breakfast with Santa.  The "real" Santa comes over after breakfast and the kids get to have a little one on one time with him.  It's so fun!

Here are the lovely ladies responsible for this awesome affair....Margaret, Jeanette, and Momma Jo.

And here's the guest of honor..."Santa" himself!!  I think he's the real Santa!!

Here's Corb sitting on Santa's lap.  He told us that he told Santa that he wanted a Nintendo 3DSI.  Good Luck Santa...it would be a "shame" if you were "unable" to actually deliver on that wish!!  :)

Jaden was a little unsure about the man in red that shook like a bowl full of jelly...so he hid in a pretty good spot....ostrich style.  :)

 But then he found Alison...aka the baby whisperer.  I've mentioned before that he is absolutely head over heels for this girl!  :)

Here is Honey and Poppy with Whitney and her little family.   Good smiles on everyone! 

And here are ALL the kids.

And here are all of the "older" kids.

We sure had a fun time having breakfast with Santa.  Thanks for hosting and making it so magical.  The kids are always in awe.  Very fun!!

Coby's Work Christmas Party

Coby's work Christmas party was tonight.  With all the downsizing that occurred this past year, Coby took on the task of planning the company party.  Luckily, his company is relatively small.  He kept it simple.  Go Karting at Fast Kart followed by a SUPER yummy dinner at the new restaurant Brio.  Everything was a HIT!

We all got a few turns racing the go karts.  It was SO fun...and actually harder than I thought.  Pat, Coby's brother, ROCKED the house.  He won for being the most AWESOME!!!  :)  And the fact that he was faster than anyone else after countless races.

Here's the whole group being a little crazy!

Nice work planning the party baby!  You did a GREAT job.  Everyone loved it.  And I have to say that it was my favorite Christmas party so far!

Temple Square with the Stevenson's

Coby and I were SUPER excited to to hang out with our good friends the Stevenson's.  They were part of our little Lansing family while we lived in Michigan.  It's always a treat when they come into town and we JUMP at any opportunity to see them. 

They stayed at the Marriott downtown SLC.  We bundled up and went to see the lights of Temple Square.  Lance and Bettie brought these sweet little 3D glasses to see the lights with.  The boys LOVED them.  Especially Jaden!

Here are the Stevenson's sporting their super cool 3D specs.

Here is our little family in front of the reflection pond at Temple Square.

It was SO cold that after about 30 mins we headed up to the top of the Joseph Smith Memorial Building to get a better look and warm our frozen little falanges!

Jaden was loving the view!  Coby and I were loving the company more!

We had a GREAT time and can't wait to see them again.

One sleepy little boy

This little boy was sooo tired!  A few months ago Coby and I came to the conclusion that Jaden was ready to give up his afternoon naps.  SNIFF SNIFF!!  He still needs a nap...but if he even gets in a power nap during the day he's up till 11pm!

While I was at my mom's house, this little stinker got into Aunt Ambie's makeup.   To say that he got it ALL over himself is an understatement!  My mom quickly threw his clothes in the washer and we found a little shirt of Ambie's to wear.  I packed him up and headed home.  On the way home he started dosing off.  In an effort to keep him up I tried to stand him up.

He was so tired that he stayed asleep while he stood.  His cute little knees would start to give out and he'd catch himself and stand back up.  He must have kept this up for a good 5 mins.  It was hilarious!! He did finally wake up.  But I had myself a good little chuckle in the mean time. 

Christmas Symbols with Honey

Do you know the true meaning of Christmas?!! This year Honey sent out cute little invitations to every grandkid.  They were super cute. Everyone was there except our little Dunkie Doodle and Jack of course. 

 

 She sat the kids down and proceeded to tell them all about the symbols of Christmas.  The BELL.

 The ANGEL

 After she was finished, she brought them upstairs for a little Christmas Symbol lunch.  A kids dream, complete with taquitos and cream soda. 

 Then they decorated Gingerbread cookies.   "NOT THE GUM DROP BUTTONS....!"

 Cobe was getting Jaden started.

 Then the real decorating fun began...

 And I think he got the hang of it pretty quick...

 Lu Lu couldn't wait to eat the candy.

Livvy was loving the frosting.

 Look at my little decorator....he's quite the PRO!!

Of eating the frosting or decorating...I'm not quite sure which!!

I thought Honey was so cute and sweet to put together this GREAT little Christmas Symbol party for the kids.  They had a ball.  I was surprised to see just how much the kids actually did know.  I know I learned a few things.

Here's a little breakdown of the Symbols of Christmas: 

• The Star: A heavenly sign of prophecy fulfilled long, long ago- The shining hope of mankind.
• The Color Red: The first color of Christmas, symbolizing that Savior's sacrifice for all.
• The Fir Tree: Evergreen- the second color of Christmas shows everlasting light and life. The needles point up to heaven.
• The Bell: Rings out to guide lost sheep back to the fold, signifying that all are precious in His eyes.
• The Candle: A mirror of starlight, reflecting our thanks for the star of Bethlehem.
• The Gift Bow: Tied as we should all be tied together in bonds of goodwill forever.
• The Candy Cane: Represents the shape of the shepherd's crook, used to bring lost lambs back to the fold.
• The Wreath: A symbol of the never ending eternal value of love… having no end.