Sunday, October 26, 2008

Tender Mercies


I thought it would be helpful for our family to know and understand just how carefully the Lord work is completed. We feel that Jack's "accident" was actually anything but. I type with the utmost reverence to the events that led to our Jackie returning home to our loving Heavenly Father. (NOTE: This is a rather LONG post, but I'm doing for the benefit of our family Journal so as to not forget.)

Tender Mercy #1

About 2 weeks before Jack's passing Coby and I attended an endowment session with Lance and Marianne at the Mount Timpanogos Temple. After the session we all entered the Celestrial Room to ponder and reflect. It was during this time and Coby poured his heart out to our Heavenly Father. He thanked him for our boys and said that he loved them both so much that he now understood just how hard it must have been to give up his Son. The Lord answered back and told Coby, "To everything there is a season." Coby told me of this answer he had been given and we were both a bit puzzled as to what the answer had meant. But we didn't think much of it and went about our normal lives. If you know this scripture, it goes on to say, "A time to be born and a time to die." The Lord was preparing us in His own way.

Tender Mercy #2

That morning I had the privledge of taking both our boys on a walk. During the walk I noticed that Jack was getting tired. I peeked my head into the stroller and tickled Jack's neck. He looked up at me with his beautiful blue eyes and I saw him differently for one little moment. I looked into his eyes and thought, "Wow, he is so beautiful. I love this boy, I truly love this little boy. I can't believe that he's mine. Oh, I just love him." And he looked back at me and I think our souls spoke that morning. He recipricated exactly what I said to him. And I felt just how much he loved me too. It was such an incredible feeling and I am so thankful that I had the chance to feel it.

Tender Mercy #3

On the day of the accident, my dad came over for lunch. We ate panninis together and Jack showed off his newly learned "tricks" like saying "more" in sign language, giving him a high five, waving goodbye, etc. I remember feeling so proud because he could understand instruction and did it so well. I knew that he was so smart.

Background leading up to more tender mercies.

After my dad left, I started cleaning up. There were only 4 little plates in the sink. I started washing the plates when the phone rang. Jack and Corbin were outside on the deck and I could hear them both playing. My friend Jen called me and asked me a question about her Relief Society Lesson. We talked about the lesson breifly and then I noticed that it was unusually quiet. I scanned the livingroom for Jack because I couldn't see him on the deck from the kitchen. I then asked Corbin where Jack was and he told me that Jack was in the "hole". The hole he was referring to was a dirt hole under the deck that Jasmine our dog liked to dig in as well as the boys. I looked there and Jack wasn't there. So, while I was on the phone with Jen, I looked around the corner to the little pond in our backyard and didn't see him there. The pond was small enough that Jack could fully stand up and have the water go to the bottom of his ribs. It was only a couple feet long. At any rate, I didn't see him in it. I looked. I really looked, he wasn't there. Jen remembers me saying, "Nope, he's not in the pond, thank goodness." It was at that point that I began running through the backyard checking all the window wells. Jen let me go at that point and told me to call her when I found Jack. I ran back in the house running into every room yelling his name. I then ran out of the house to the corner and then on my way back sprinted to the backyard as it was only then that I realized that the pond was the only place he could possibly be. It was there that I found him. I grabbed him and ran him over to our neighbors, the Secor's house and they worked dilegently on him until the paramedics got there.

Tender Mercy #4

After things had settled down a bit after the funeral. Jen felt prompted to tell me of an answer she had received from the Lord. She recalled that she called to me ask me a question about her lesson. In all the time she has ever taught, she'd always studied her lessons at night. She liked it to be quiet so that she could feel the spirit as she prepared. With twins this isn't always easy, so until that day she had never studied her lesson during the day. She said that she felt promted to study her lesson right then. Because both her boys were taking their nap, she decided to act on this promting. As she read the title, "The black sheep." She then felt promted to call me because of an earlier discussion we had previously had regarding this topic. I answered her question and then noticed that it was "quiet". I didn't feel nervous or any sort of panic. I didn't start getting nervous until I realized that the only place he could be was the one place I dreaded most. What I'm saying is that I never got any sort of promting. No warning that Jack was in any sort of trouble. Corbin didn't notice, Jasmine didn't notice, Coby didn't get a prompting either. And by the time I found him it was too late. As if I wasn't supposed to see him until it WAS too late. Jen later told me with a truly humble heart that she felt prompted that she was sent to be a distraction to me that afternoon. It broke both of our hearts as we realized the answer she had been given. I know that if she had known that that was the purpose for her call, she would have never made it in the first place. She told me that she went back and checked her phone records and found that we were only on a phone just a few minutes.

Tender Mercy #5

On that same day that Jen told me of her impression of being the distraction, our sweet neighbor Tiana Secor and their family brought us dinner along with a letter. The letter was so great and an answer to our prayers. She said that she kept feeling as though she needed to share with me some of the miracles that I may not have noticed on that most dreadful day. Her husband has a different schedule and that Tuesday was the first day that he was home. Infact, he had only arrived home 1/2 hour before we ran to their door. None of my other neighbors were home. There was NO where I could have gone. I know how to do CPR, but was in such a state of shock that I couldn't do it. Thank goodness they were home. While the outcome was not what we so wanted, if they weren't there there wouldn't have even been a chance that Jack would have survived even for a few more hours.

Tender Mercy #6

Tiana and her husband had ordered a piece of furniture from R.C. Willey that was to be delivered on, Tuesday, September 23rd between the time frame of 1 - 3pm. I ran over there at 1:30pm. The ironic thing was that R.C. Willey didn't even have the piece of furniture they had ordered in the first place and so the delivery was uneccessary. But because no one from the company called to let them know, they stayed home and waited for a delivery that would never come.

Tender Mercy # 7

While paramedics were working with all their might, our truly wonderful and amazing bishop just happened to be walking past Tiana's backyard fence. He noticed what was going on and immediately came to our aid. He hasn't been our bishop for very long but I have never had a more caring, sensitive bishop. He rallied our whole ward and united us all. A ward that we were struggeling to fit into. He called us multiple times daily. He offered countless prayers, and so many kind and wonderful services. He cried with us and we know that we were where we were supposed to be. Earlier that day, my sweet Camille and I had just talked about just how wonderful he was and he much we loved how kind and sweet he is. I never knew just how much we had said to each other regarding our sweet bishop would soon come to fruition. We just love him and know that he was and is such an answer to our prayers.

Tender Mercy #8

While in the hospital. Coby, Jim (coby's dad) and my dad administered to him by the power of the holy melchizedek preisthood that they held and gave Jack a truly beautiful blessing that he would be "okay". It was at that point that Jim and Coby felt impressed that Jack was being given a choice. A choice to return to a broken body or a choice to better help us on the other side. Coby told me that as he ministered to Jack that he couldn't utter the words, "You will recover from this." I knew then, that it was only a matter of time before we would be forced to say goodbye to our precious baby boy.

Tender Mercy # 9

Coby's old Stake President is the nephew of Elder Richard G. Scott, an apostle of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Upon hearing our sad news, told his uncle, who then requested to meet with us. We had the opportunity to meet a truly humble servant of the Lord...an apostle even. He had also lost a son very suddenly and could relate with our pain. He asked me how I was and I told him of the incredible guilt that I felt for being there and not watching Jack closely enough. He told me that those feelings of guilt were NOT of our Heavenly Father, but were of Satan. He said that Satan knew just how down we were and would not think twice to hit us with his best shot with reminders of guilt, and the what if's and if only's. He said that we should not ask those questions but should change them to "What" questions. "What can we learn from this?" He told us that the Lord would reveal all answers in His time. He told us that we had to recognize who the feelings of guilt were coming from and then pray to have them removed. I did, and I can honestly say that I no longer feel that horrible guilt because I now know that they are NOT from the Lord. He told us that with little children there are NEVER accidents. He said that children that are blessed with disease or taken before the age of accountability had proven themselves honorably, and so noble that He had to guarantee their safe return Home with Him. To save them from a world where they could be saved by Satan's influence on every front. He told us that Jack was securing our family's spot in the Heavens above. He was very sweet and told us that he had a vested interest in our family and that we should never hesitate to call upon him if we ever needed him. He then gave me a truly amazing blessing. Coby annointed my head, and then Elder Scott then ministered such a blessing as I have never felt before. He started by saying something to the effect that by the power of the apostlic power he held and by the power of the holy melchizedek priesthood, that it would surge through my veins and vital organs. He blessed us with understanding and told us that it was by NO accident that Jack was taken home when he was. He blessed us with children and so many more things that I can't remember now. It was so amazing. I wished that we could have recorded it so as to listen to it whenever we needed. Then he gave Coby another amazing blessing. What a blessing it was to meet with such a wonderful man. He even told us that he hoped that he would live in such a way that he'd be able to be with his sweet wife and son who had passed on. If that's not the definition of humble....

Tender Mercy #10

Later that same evening, we had the opportunity to meet with our Stake President, President Boyce. What a truly remarkable man he is. He took the time to meet with us and shared with us a truly wonderful experience he had in the temple. He told us that he specifically prayed for our family and spoke of Jack. He said that the Lord answered and told him that "Jack was doing just great." It was so inspired for him to tell us that and I appreciated it so much. Our dog, Jasmine fell absolutely in LOVE with him. He pet her so sweetly and she started making this sort of "purring". Before he left he said a prayer with us and Jasmine crawled up to him and made him start petting her again. He later came over with his darling wife with a big thing of treats for Jasmine. What a sweetie!

Tender Mercy #11

Before we came home, the day before Jack's funeral. Friends and family united and surprised us with with a memorial tree for Jack. They got rid of the pond. Planted a beautiful flowering tree
with perinial flowers and shrubbery. There is NO trace that a pond was ever there. We thank all involved for that wonderful gift. I had such anxiety of returning home and seeing the pond that took my baby's life. It is so wonderful.

Tender Mercy #12

People from everywhere seemed come out from all parts of the world to offer us comfort. A large donation was given to us by the sweet ward members and a memorial fund was set up at our Credit Union. So many generous people sent cards, flowers, donations, gifts, words of comfort, a listening ear, meals for almost 2 weeks, treats, books, different blog sites, the list goes on and on. Friends flew in from all over. My sister Amber, my uncle Bob, Aunt Linda, Both sets of grandparants, my mom's sisters, our friends from MI, ID, and Logan and my Ryan from MI dropped everything they were doing to be there for us in our time of need. Our families on both sides put their feelings aside and did everything they could to help us. Laundry was done, dinner was made, the house was cleaned. Our best friends took many of the last pictures we have of Jack and enlarged them, framed them and drove them down to us from Logan. I am so thankful that she was able to capture such tender moments of our little Jack. We will always treasure them. Our ward family was truly amazing. So many wonderful people served us so kindly that we are sure that we will never be able to give you what you have given to us. The friendships that have been created are now permanent and we truly feel like we belong. I'd love to personally thank every single person that gave of their time, energy and efforts so selflessly. Many were anonymous and I pray that they will get the reward they deserve by our loving Heavenly Father. Mothers who had lost their own little ones took time to call me and console ME during their darkest hours. Pictures of Jack and our family were printed, enlarged and framed. Two gorgeous albums were completely scrapbooked with pictures of Jack during his entire life. Certain others dropped by daily, sometimes more than that to show that they were thinking of us and show us that they loved us. You know who you are and please know that it lifted our spirits more than you will ever know. Certain friends and family stepped up in such a way as I have never seen. I feel so close to each and every one of you. Thank you, thank your from the bottom of our hearts. You will never really know just how much we love and appreciate you. I'd love to name drop because I feel that it is so deserving of what you all have done, but in an effort as to NOT forget anyone I will not.

I know that there are countless other tender mercies that I have failed to mention. I know that the Lord loves us, that he cares for each of us individually. That He knows us individually. I know that He knows the Plan much better than I could ever hope to. I feel peace knowing that while Jack's time was short he is with a loving Heavenly Father and is watching over us. I feel his presence and know that Jack is a truly special son of God. I feel privlaged to have had him as my son despite the length of time. He is still my son and I KNOW that I will see him again. I KNOW that I will have the opportunity to raise him if I'll only prove worthy. I am grateful for this knowledge. I am grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ. The Atonement has an entirely new meaning in my life and how I view things. How selfless our Saviour is to suffer so that we could return to Home again. I am grateful that the Lord didn't step in and remove that bitter cup, despite how difficult it must have been. How hard it must have been for Him to watch His only begotten Son suffer. And yet loved us so much that he was willing to sacrifice that which was most precious for the better good. I love my Father in Heaven and his Son, Jesus Christ. I am so grateful for the knowledge of the Plan of Salvation and that we are sealed together as an eternal family. I am grateful for such a wonderful husband who could have easily blamed me for not paying attention that awful day, but chose the higher road. Chose to love me and trust me that it wasn't my fault. I am grateful for good friends and family that love me unconditionally. I feel such gratitude despite our current circumstances. And I know that if we endure this trial well, that we will be exalted from on high. I know that the Lord answers our prayers. I am reminded of what He told the Prophet Joseph Smith when he suffered with his companions in the smothering darkness of Liberty Jail: “My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; “And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.” In the words of Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin of the 12, "The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude." I am grateful to know of these truths. I love this gospel, am grateful for it, for my family, friends, my Saviour and my Heavenly Father.

50 comments:

janalee said...

You have such a marvelous understanding of your son's death. Thank you for listing all the 'tender mercies' you experienced. I found that writing down my blessings made me remember even more, and brought me comfort because I could see that God was mindful of me.
I found you on the Angel blog we are both on.

Scott, Aimee, & Emily said...

Oh Tiff, I wish I was there to give you a big hug. I marvel and am constantly amazed at how "well" you and your family are coping. Isn't the gospel such an amazing blessing in our lives. What a wonderful gift to be blessed by Elder Scott. It is true, by following the prophets we will have peace and righteous. We love you.- Aimee

Huggins family said...

I felt the spirit so strongly reading your tender mercy's. Thank you for sharing

Chris and Julie said...

Sweet Tiffany,
I found your blog through Molly's. Wow what a great post, my heart is full. I can't stop my tears. I look up to your strength, your little Jack is such a beautiful little boy! Thinking and praying for your sweet family daily.

With love,
Julie

Amanda said...

Now that I can see the keyboard through my tears, I will thank you for your beuatiful Testimony. What wounderful moments you had with Jack,Coby and the Savior. I love you and thank you for teaching me many things!!!

Melanie said...

About an hour ago I felt a prompting to check your blog that you had posted....(I found the prompting a little odd) and kept working on sewing Cambridge's costume. By the time I had sewed the the lapel into the arm hole I figured it was time for a break and to go to blog land. Your post was beautifully written. You are and will continue to be a blessing to others. I have heard before that the 'quiet' or lack of promptings was exactly the same for others who have lost small children. I also have received a blessing from an apostle...and you know the power of the priesthood is the same but that apostolic flow through can be felt in every fiber of your being. I am so glad these tender mercies have come into your life. Thank you for sharing.

The Rich's said...

It is great to see or understand how Heavenly Father works in retrospect. It can give us great comfort, I know that is what you have done for others. I told you that you are a strong woman, and Tif you are. I love you and am greatful for you in my life.

abbyandcompany said...

I love your journal entries, they are so eloquent and beautiful. I was so full of tears reading of the special moment between you and Jackie. I imagine what that moment must have been like. Tiff, you are continually amazing me with your strong testimony that just keeps getting stronger and stronger. We love you and continually pray for your family.

Miss Molly said...

Tiffany,

The tears won't stop. This was a wonderful entry. Everyone I have met and talked to who has lost a child recently all talk about so many similar experiences and tender mercies. I think of you often and still pray for you. You are a good, good woman with phenomenal faith. Thank you for being an example to me. This blog was so touching.

Sommer said...

I love you so much!

Anonymous said...

I think everyday of the 'tender mercies' that transpired and have given me a renewed understanding of our Heavenly Father's Plan. Thank you so much for making such a difference in my life. You are a true friend that makes everything fun and makes me want to be a better person.
Although I know the memories are written for you and your family, at the same time it helps so many...which is why, no matter how long it is, we will read every word! I have so much love for you and your family.

Bridget said...

Hi, I just found you from the Angel blog. Our sons died on the same day. Thank you for blogging about your tender mercies. It's amazing how much the Lord blesses us if we take the time to notice.

Laurie said...

Babygirl (tiff)
I love you so very much and so Thankful for a Loving Heavenly Father who loaned you to me as a daughter and your sweet sisters. I am so Thankful for the gospel and a loving Heavenly Father who loves us to have sent his son to die for all of us. Thank you so much sweetie for talking us into moving to Utah so I could have those sweet loving memories of our sweet little Jackie and Corbin and I know there will be more on the way soon. I am so thankful for a wonerful Son in law who loves you and treats you as his queen and loves you so much every time he looks at you with lots of love in his heart, he truely is a son of God. Coby thank you so much sweetie for the love you show to us and give to us and our little girl and your sons, you are such a wonderful father to your little boys. Thank you both so much for all you do for us. we love you so much and are always in our prayers.
I love you, Lady

Katy said...

You are amazing! Thank you for sharing that, It was so great to see you and Corbin on Friday. Love ya!

Bredy McBred said...

My sweet little Tiffany-I am so blessed to have you in my life. You are such a beautiful person and a wonderful mom. In my darkest hour yesterday you lifted my spirits by calling me. Just to hear your voice again put a smile on my face. I could hear the peace in your voice. A peace and understanding of Jacks passing. And I can see and understand why. Your love for the Lord is endless and thank you SO much for being such a great example and inspiration to me and to others. I have known you for a very long time and I can honestly say that I have seen you grow up into a fantabulous woman of God! I love you very much. I cant wait to see you guys again. xoxox love bredy

Lanae said...

You and Coby are such an example to me, and you just have the most beautiful little family. Thank you so much for the time we've been able to spend together and for sharing your lives with us. I love you so much and I'm so glad that we are understanding more about this life and how everything DOES happen for a reason.
Much love,
Little

Caralee said...

Tiffany,
I know this post is directed to your family, and that all it pertains is very close to your heart. I truly hope you don't mind me reading. I wanted to say thank you so much for sharing these tender feelings. I am SO glad that you are writing these things down. There have been times when I have learned and grown so much, (I'm not so great at keeping my journal)I look back and wish I had written more. I know you will continue to be blessed for your faithfulness. Thank you for your example, your faith is amazing. You inspire me to be a better mother, woman, and friend. I marvel at how much you relish life! Thank your for your example. thank you for your friendship.

Brittany said...

Thank you for sharing those beautiful tender mercies. Your testimony is beautiful and so amazing. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for being such a wonderful example!

Jason and Erin said...

wow, what an amazing testimony. thanks for sharing it with all of us. you are obviously a chosen daughter of God. i only hope that i could be as strong as you if something so terrible were to happen to me. you understand everything so well and that will make all of this a little easier. you are such an example and inspiration. love ya!

erin

Dianne said...

Tiffany - You are such an amazing wife and mother. You are an inspiration to all. You are so strong in the gospel that I know one day you'll be raising Jackson again. You are somebody very special to have raised him here on earth for such a short time. Your Heavenly Father has so much love for you. Look at all the wonderful blessings your family has received. Thanks for sharing with all of us.

Jenny H said...

I know you don't know me, but I wanted to take a minute and thank you for being brave enough to share your experience with us. I just "feel" now - overwhelmed with gratitude and motivation to do better.
My Grandfather's name was Jack. He was one of the most Christlike people I know. I know your Jack is well taken care of until you meet again.

Laurie said...

I love you sweetie I love to spend my days with you and am so blessed that you want me by your side when Coby is not there.

Amber said...

Tiff,
That post was amazing! Thank you for sharing your personal experiences. I know you are so proud of sweet Jack. He is also so proud of you! You are an amazing woman who has touched so many through your example of stength and grace. You and Coby are amazing examples to us all.
Hugs,
Amber

nicole said...

Tiffany, I found your site from Camille's blog. I just wanted to let you know that this entry was absolutely beautiful and so touching. Your testimony has been a strength to mine. Jack seems like an amazing little spirit and he was so blessed to have you for a mother! You have touched more lives than you know! Thank you so much for sharing. My thoughts and prayers continue to be with you and your beautiful family.

Natalie said...

Tiffany, You are amazing. Your words and and the wisdom therein is profound. I am grateful today for the example that you are. I am still praying for you guys and am grateful to see that the Lord is answering my, and countless other's, prayers by offering you such experiences and tender mercies as the ones that you are having. May they continue! love to you!

Mimi's Toes said...

This post is AMAZING! It really ministered to me. These Tender Mercies are just amazing. You have such a support group and a wonderful group of neighbor and friends. I can see your story helping other parents coping with the loss of a child.

Angenette said...

I'm another Angel blog friend...

I just wanted to thank you for this post. I lost my son to drowning a little more than two years ago. You expressed many of the thoughts I've had, but it took me much longer to accept them! I especially appreciate you sharing what Elder Scott said and what your friend Jen said.

Thank you for your example of faith and hope.

Lance Bettie and Calista said...

We love you guys!

Tiff, you are amazing! I always have known it!
Of all of our friends, we have always tagged you and Cobe as the STRONG ones.

We can't wait to see you again and give you a big hug!

The Bishop Boys said...

Hello,
I came upon your blog one day soon after the accident with your Jack. I just wanted to comment on here and let you know what an inspiration and example you have been to me a complete stranger. Your story is so amazing and beautiful and I want to thank you for sharing it. Your testimony is so strong and it has strengthened mine tremendously. Last night I was having a really hard day with my son and I opened your blog and read your beautiful tender mercy story and it has given me so much comfort and strength and faith to try and strive to be better. I want to thank you again for your stories and I am so glad I came across your blog because it has truly helped me in my daily life.

Shauna said...

You are an amazing example to all mothers out there. I want to reach out and just give you a hug and let you know that I think about you daily. All my love.

Larsen said...

You have such a sweet testimony. It really strenthens mine when i have my moments. We had some really big tender mercies when we lost our little Gavin. My favorite was, i did laundry the day before he went home and i was going to wash his blanket. But at some point I didn't notice Gavin had taken the blanket out the basket. So I finished all the laundry and then found his blanket, at first i was frustrated with him but then i smelled it and it smelled just like him and i thought, "if anythink happened to Gavin at lest I have his blanket to smell." That was the day before. I am so greatfull for that tender mercy. Thank you for listing your tender mercies. It helped remind me of mine. Thank you for your testimony too. Sometimes i need a little reminder. The Lord is aware of us.

Natalie said...

Thank you Tiff for such a beautiful testimony. It's strengthening to all of us.
-Chad

Kas said...

You don't know me, I found your blog through relative of yours, but I found this quote recently about suffering and the sense it made was comforting to me...

"There is, in the suffering of the highest order, a point that is reached--a point of aloneness--when the individual must bear it, as it were, alone. Even the faithful may wonder if they can take any more or if they are some way forsaken. Those who, as it were, stand on the foot of the cross often can do so little to help absorb the pain and anguish. It is something we must bear ourselves in order that our triumph can be complete." --Neil A. Maxwell

Matt said...

Thanks for sharing that. You will always value what you've written here, and it will be a great treasure to you in the future. What's more though, are the countless lives you've touched by sharing these thoughts and feelings. It was a mistake for me to read this at work - it was really hard for me to not get emotional(blubbering engineers get strange stares :-) ). The thought that kept coming to me is to love my own children more fully. So often we have a battle of wills, and yet I always want them to know how much I love and treasure them. You and Coby have such wonderful hearts, and Jack was sent to you for a reason. Your description of your visit with Elder Scott probably got to me the most. What a priceless experience. Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing your heart in your hour of need. In the shadow of this tragedy, you have done what your Father in Heaven would have you do.
Love you guys. - Cousin Matt

jenjen said...

My sweet friend Tiff. You know I am not great at these blogs yet, but you are teaching me well! I will just pretend I am writing it to you on pretty paper and delivering it to you with a treat and a hug! I want to express to you how wonderfully beautiful your testimony is, how heartbreaking your story is and how inspirational YOU are for sharing your special and spiritual and even private tender mercies and experiences! It absoultely crushes me that I made that phone call to you that day. I have never cried for so long for so many days in my lifetime. To realize that somehow I was implicated in this horrible accident that brings you and your family so much grief and sadness utterly breaks my heart beyond anything I have felt before. The ONLY thing that has brought me any peace at all and that I have kept telling myself over and over and over is, "I was doing the Lord's work! I was preparing my Relief Society Lesson! I was calling about a picture of Christ! I was doing the Lord's work! He HAD to have had a hand in this! I was doing the Lord's work!!!" I certainly have felt an incredible amount of guilt and it has helped me to be able to have my own peace to hear your testimony and see your perspectives deepen as you count these tender mercies. I am sooo grateful that we have the Gospel in our lives. I am sooo grateful that you have such wonderful, supportive and strong families on both sides and such an amazing and stalwart husband who stands by you and loves you. And I am also grateful to see the Lord is blessing you with some peace for you to be able to piece all these things together and find the little blessings throughout this tragedy that enable you to see His hand in this. You are truly an amazing woman and mother to be able to realize these tender mercies from our loving Father in Heaven as you still struggle with the loss of your sweet little Jack. This is a remarkable and special thing you are doing for so many others out there who will read your story and learn and grow and realize all the tender mercies in their own lives. I am blessed to be your friend and have you in my life. You have touched me, strengthened my testimony, helped me and countless others again count our blessings and have been an incredible example of a humble daughter of God. My heart continues to break for you as I know you miss Jack immensely. I continue to pray for you and your family and hope all the prayers from everyone out there in your behalf lift you and Coby and help you both bear this burden just a little lighter. Thank you for who you are, your example, your fun and laughter and your friendship. I love you! Jen °Ü°

margaret said...

Tiff --

What a beautiful memorial. I truly felt it was written with the spirit of the Lord upon you. You and Coby are truly examples to all of us. You don't know what stuff you are made of until you are required to deal with the loss of a loved one -- Iknow. You will be stronger and better because of what you have had to deal with. We love you both and are grateful for the priviledge of knowing Jackie!
Love, Marg

Jeremy & DeeAnn said...

I randomly found your blog and hope you don't mind me making a comment. I just wanted to thank you for posting your feelings. A child I babysat for drowned not too long ago in her backyard pool and ever since then I have driven myself into a paranoia of "what if that happened to me". I am constantly praying and worrying about something happening to my sweet little boy because I don't know how I could live with myself if I were to look away for a minute and something tragic happened. Thank you for saying that children never die by accident. I know we still need to be aware of dangers and watch out for our children, but if something were to happen, then it was meant to happen. I think I might be able to breathe a little easier and enjoy life a little easier just keeping that in perspective. Thank you. I always wondered how anyone could go through something so horrible such as losing a child, and I think you are showing just how to do it. You are an amazing example in your strong faith!

Jeremy & DeeAnn said...
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McGinnis Family said...

The blessing and also the conversation you had with Richard G. Scott is beautiful and is such a comfort, I'm sure!!!! I felt the Spirit so strong as I read your post and know what you say is true!!!

Dani said...

Just checking in on you and I get this morsel of insight. Little Jack is so cute.

How are you doing? Haven't heard from you in a while. I miss being blogstalked!

Dani

Challey said...

I live next door to your parents. I was so sad to hear about what happened. My heart aches for you and your family. We(my two kids as well) have been constantly praying for you and your family. Thank you so much for sharing such intimate, personal feelings. You are such an amazing and strong women. Thank heavens we have a greater understanding of our life here on earth. My prayers and thoughts are with you.
Challey Smith

Rebecca and Nick Ballstaedt said...

Thank you for sharing your tender mercy's with us. You have done everything to touch mine and Nick's heart and feel of the truth and the amazing ways that the Lord speaks to us. Your experience has strengthened out testimony's so that you will never know. From the depth of our souls we love you and pray for nothing but the best. Love Nick and Rebecca Ballstaedt

Amy said...

Dear Tiffany, My contacts are all blurry now. They always fail me when I cry too much... I am in awe of your strength and inspiring testimony of our Savior. I know that it is he only that has truly experienced and suffered your pain and agony, and it is only our Redeemer that can heal you through his 'tender mercies.' Thank you for sharing your priceless and precious personal moments. You truly shine Tiff, and have the Savior's image in you countenance. You have helped and strenghthened so many testimonies through sharing yours. Love-Amy

buckway's said...

Tiff and cody, I cant tell you how much I care and love you both. You have no idea how much you have helped me with my testimony and understanding of heavenly father's plan. Tiff you are such a perfect example of Christ. You make me want to be so strong. I love the Rich family so much. I have never been more touched by example then by you all.

buckway's said...

I noticed in my post to you I said cody instead of coby. sorry cob! i promise i know your name!

E and K Rausch said...

Thank you so much for sharing that with the world. You are such a strong person. I was 22 1/2 weeks pregnant when i went into labor my son Kenner was born November 13, 2008 and was with us for 2 hours and 10 min. We did nothing to save him, and I have felt such guilt about it since that day. Thank you for sharing your experience with Elder Scott. I needed that. Thank you for sharing your son's story.

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The Saville Family said...

Tiffany,
I am new to your blog. I had lunch last Thursday with Ashley Sullenger and she told me I should read this post of yours. My sone Gabriel passed on to the arms of our Heavenly Father just four days before Pat and Ashley's Preslee. Gabriel died of unknown causes and he was just 17 months old. I've truly felt the love of my Father in Heaven and feel like I'm passed these emotions so frequently. But as I read your post I truly felt the spirit speak to me and confirm to me that my Gabriel is indeed where he is supposed to be. I have tears of joy and saddness streaming down my cheeks, joy that my son is so special to have returned to my father in heaven and saddness for mynaching heart and arms for how I miss him. Thank you for sharing such tender mercies with all that are directed to you'd blog to read. I feel Ashley was inspired to direct me here to help me with feelings I didn't even know I was feeling. Thank you!
Amy Saville
Our gabriel's story is here da.savillefamily.org

Sunshine Promises said...

Oh Tiffany,
I am SO glad I read this tonight. So, so glad. While I miss Jack with you, I am so grateful for the tender mercies that have been sent to comfort your tender Mother Heart.
You are amazing, Tiffany. Absolutely amazing. And I love you.

Anna See said...

Dear Tiffany, What a beautiful post. I love to hear the ways that God is working through tragic circumstances like the deaths of our beautiful sons. My son was Jack, too, and he died by drowning. Love and Hugs to you today.