Friday, May 30, 2014

A Prayer of Gratitude

I had a few minutes of alone time as I flew to San Francisco...
I decided to say a little prayer of Gratitude to my Heavenly Father.  I had about 45 minutes in the plane.  I purposely didn't bring something to listen to because it was time for a little heart to heart with my Father in Heaven.  I started by thanking him for just about anything and everything that I could think of.  I asked him if we were supposed to have another baby and got a feeling that the answer was definitely a Yes.  Which is what I was afraid of since I'm feeling DONE with the whole baby process...and the fact that Cole hasn't exactly been the easiest kid!  I've always known that we'd have a little...(I hope). I used to dream about her.  In my dreams she is about 3 years old and blond and quite sassy!  In fact just before Coby met me he had the opportunity to see her in the temple.  He said he had just finished an endowment session and he was sitting in the Celestrial Room enjoying the peace and relief from the world.  He said that he saw her and she threw her little 3 year old arms around his neck and smile and said, "Hurry Daddy!".  When I asked if there was a little girl up there, I got another Yes.  I asked why she hadn't come to our family yet and was told, "It wasn't her turn."  So...I know she's there...I just hope she's next because I just want our family to be here and be complete.  I know that it will never really be complete because Jack is gone...but at least I got a chance to hold him and love him...even if it was brief!  I know my Father in Heaven loves me and I need to be better at pouring my whole heart out to him much more often.  How grateful I am to know that He is there and that He is always ready to listen to me.  He has blessed me more than I could ever thank him enough for.  I am not worthy of any of the vast blessing that I have been given.  I pray that I can do better and strive to live up the potential that He knows I am capable of.  Baby steps!

No comments: