BEST ears award goes to....

I walked outside into the garage and noticed that the back door was wide open. Who "ever" could have done it??

Mom: "Corb...did you forget to close the door?"

Corbin: Mom...I shut MY door... maybe you didn't shut your DAMN door."

Mom: (trying NOT to laugh and hide the grin as I'm getting into the car) "What did you say?"

Corbin: I said, "Mom..I shut my door, but I don't think you shut your door." (with a semi-"I totally got away with saying the "D" word and she didn't even catch me" look

Mom: Did you say "the Damn" door?

Corbin: "Ooooooh, um...ya. I heard you say that yesterday....should I call dad and tell him what you said??"

I can sum it up simply....MANIPULATIVE LITTLE....I probably better stop since his little ears are around and I wouldn't want him to "tell" on me! :) Damn....is it really a swear word?

Missing our baby

Needed to post a smiling picture of Jack because I need to pull myself up today. One day this will all be okay, but it's not going to be anytime soon. It stinks that he's not here and that I have to only imagine what he'd be like growing up in our family. I know all the right answers..."you'll get to raise him, you'll hold him again...you're an eternal family....BLAH BLAH BLAH!" But right now, that doesn't bring me an ounce of happiness. It doesn't even bring me joy for the future, because the future is SO FAR AWAY. What I have is a hole in my heart the size of a planet that will NEVER heal. I don't mean to have a pity party for myself, I just miss my little boy. The little boy that was so easy to love. The little boy that gave a whole lot more than he took. Today I'm struggling. Today I don't want to move. Today I want to hold my baby. The baby that actually liked me. I'd think that 2 years out would be a little easier to deal with, but today I'm right back 1 month out and feel like I can hardly breathe.

If all else fails I do have a few things to make me smile: Coby, Corbin and Jaden for sure. My family and friends, some fancy schmancy toes, a GORGEOUS picture of all three of my boys (Thanks Melissa - I'll post a picture later), a lunch.... Wow, maybe I should stop thinking of what I DON'T have and start naming off what I DO have...because it's a lot. I am grateful. I am hopeful. But every now and then I kind of want to wallow. Today is a wallow day. I'll try my best to put on a happy face, but please know that it will be just that. Under the make up and genuine laughter, about a mile under the surface is a mom and dad that long to be the people they were 2 years ago + 1 day ago. I'll tell you I'm okay...but really I'm not and poor Coby he's the only one that has to see. He's the most amazing person I know and I'm pretty sure I may have bribed Heavenly Father to get him. I hope I'm holding up my end of the bargain.

A couple weeks ago I was having a particularly hard day. I sobbed all morning long. When I knelt for help from my Heavenly Father his words were kind yet firm. He told me pick myself up and get to work. So that's what I'm going to do, I'm going to try and pull it together and get to a spinning class with Kim. Hopefully that will give me a little mood boost. Then I'm going to get myself a big diet coke! Yes I realize it's 8:39 in the morning...but today I don't care.

A few weeks of Firsts!

That's my baby!! My little Kindergartner!!! He started school the day after Labor Day. It was a rainy rainy day...but as you can see from the first picture...he was SOOOO excited despite the awful weather. Coby got a little more emotional than me. I think it'll probably hit me when he starts first grade and he's gone all day. Right now he's home by noon and so it still feels a bit like preschool to me. He LOVES his teacher "Mrs. Tom-a-lin-son" (Tomlinson). He LOVES riding the bus to and from school. It's just so cute to watch him get ready for school with his giant back pack. Oh...he's getting so big! I can hardly believe it!

About a week after school started he felt like he was "OLD enough" to take the training wheels off his bike. Coby and I were a bit leery at first. Coby took the training wheels off and Corb took to the bike like a duck in water. He may have fallen twice...and that's it.

He officially deemed himself a PRO and we couldn't be happier! Again I have to say...He's sooo big!! That's my baby riding a two-wheeler!! :)

What's he doing here you ask? Well, kissing the sidewalk of course! :) He loves to watch Scooby-Doo. On a particular episode he saw Shaggy and Scooby Doo kiss the pavement after a scary bike ride. Monkey see monkey do I guess! :)

Speaking of Monkeys....guess who's about 2 seconds away from walking??!! Jader Bader Butter Bug that's who! :) He's so close...but not quite there YET! I'm guessing he'll officially deem himself a little pro in the next few weeks too! :)

But that doesn't stop him from finding my shoes, bringing them to me and demanding me to take him for a walk in the stroller. THANKS MOM! :) He learned that little trick when my mom tended him when we were on the cruise. It's really quite cute! How can I say NO!??!! :)



He also learned to play the recorder. He was a little sick here, but was don't worry a little "bug" couldn't slow him down. I just love that little toad! :)



It's no secret that I love ice cream...well guess who else loves it too?




I was having a rather off day and decided to melt our worries away with a little help from good old Mickey D's. I got my 32 oz diet coke and he got his first ever kid cone. Let's just say we were both in heaven! :)

And last but not least...our last first and HOPEFULLY our LAST:



Corb gets his first cavity!! NO MORE SWEETS FOR HIM!! :) Pictures coming tomorrow...stay tuned.

Disney Cruise...one last Hurrah!

This year Coby thought it would be fun to take a little Disney Cruise. He's always sworn that going Disney is the way to go. After cruising a few times...he (like usual) was right! It was awesome!!! We had sooo much fun.

We flew into Orlando. When we finally got to the baggage claim we ran into this lovely lady!



She was TREAT let me tell ya! To say Corbin was "anxious" to get off the plane and stretch his little legs was an understatement. When we arrived at the baggage claim...he wanted to sit on the carousal . After telling him to get off it like 56 times, he found a BIG RED BUTTON. What was he "supposed" to do....not push it!!??!! PLEASE...he's 5! So, naturally he pushed the button and the carousal stops and a big loud alarm starts buzzing. The friendly lady you see above really got into a HUFF. After the problem was fixed (3 minutes later) she tell Corbin...."I hope you know what you cost me!" Corbin is so tenderhearted, he starts to cry and buries his little head into Coby's legs. Then she proceeds to tell him that because of "him" she's stuck at the airport for 3 more hours. Coby tells her that she probably wouldn't have had her luggage anyway and that we were sorry he pushed the button. Then she has the gull to say..."I had 4 children. The may have done dumb things...but they NEVER DID ANYTHING THIS STUPID!" I couldn't even find my words, and thank goodness because I'm sure they would have been ANYTHING BUT Christ-like. Coby tells her that she must have been a perfect parent....and then our luggage came. I was so ANGRY! If looks could have killed...I definitely could have killed her! I know...not nice! But like a momma bear...she offended my cub! And I was ready to fight! But it ended up working out because everyone else got their luggage except the Queen of Kindness...so I felt like there was a little sweet justice had! :)



We stayed near in a resort near DisneyWorld (Coby had a conference for work) and even got to go to Dinner with Coby's good friends Kim and Morgan. I can't believe how much their little family has grown. They looked great and we all had a GREAT time.

The next day (Thursday) was my birthday and our first day on the ship.





Doesn' he look GREAT! Honestly....POSER!



Here we are trying doing our life jacket drill.

Coby was kind enough to let me hit a spinning class as soon as we got on. It was okay...but not nearly the butt kicking Kim gives at the gym! I was definitely missing her!



Talk about POSER!!



Love those boys!








Corb wasted NO time getting into the whole swing of things and hopped right in the kiddie pool and water slide. He LOVED it!

There was so much to do on the ship. I think the highlight of the of Corbin's trip was the Kid's Club. Leave it to Disney to create an environment that makes a kid never want to leave. He was so entertained that we'd have to practically drag him out of there. He was in HEAVEN!





One night they dressed kids up to be pirates. And had a special guest help out...see below



This little boy couldn't have been happier!!



Time for bed...and they didn't forget the little chocolates on our pillows. Corbin was loving it! And asked "how come I don't get chocolates on my pillow at home?"

The next day Coby and I had a little spa time. It was AMAZING! We got to use the Rainforest room all day. A room filled with citrus saunas and these heated tiled lounges. It was sooo relaxing. Just what we needed. Quite a treat!






Then we had a little family time and played a little ball on the court.













Even I got in on the fun! I know...shocking!

The Entertainment on the ship was beyond anything I could have expected. The talent these people possessed was absolutely AMAZING!! I could have listened to them all night. I was like 3 nights of broadway quality performances!



He loved getting to meet his favorite buddy Peter Pan.



Here we are waiting to see "Toy Story...the Musical"...it was AWESOME!!!



Then it was off to dinner in the Animators Palate. This room is sweet!



When you first enter the room it's completely black and white.



But as dinner continues and dessert starts, the whole room slowly comes to color. It was sooo cool!

We went to the Bahamas...but decided to just kick it on the ship. You can see Atlantis in the background...maybe next time. Our friends Brett and Camille went there last year and LOVED it!



Just love this shot of Corbin....

The next day we got to go to Castaway Cay...but not before we got all sun screened up!!



Corbin felt like a stud and loves to do his own hair!

We had a little Hermet Crab race and won 4th place. We named our crab Jackie!

Corbin and Cobe had fun playing on the dock....I liked just lounging in the sun!
After we took Corbin to the Kids Club we decided to do a little snorkeling. It's always so fun.

I did have one little scare though. As we were snorkeling I couldn't get that "awful" image of Jack out of my head. I tried and tried to think of something, anything else, but every time I closed my eyes, there it was. Then I'd gasp, sucking in the ocean water and start chocking. After about 5 minutes of this I had a pretty bad panic attack and couldn't breathe. I hate when they come on, because there is nothing I do about them. There I was in the middle of the water back at the "the day". I was supposed to be having fun with Coby snorkeling and seeing lots of fun things. I wish I had a permanent black marker that and could go into my memories and black out the end of that day. I am guessing it will always be there unfortunately. We just miss that little boy. I often wonder what he'd be doing right now. What he'd be saying ,that sort of thing. Would he be difficult or would he would he be pleasing. I like to think the latter. I know he's busy serving and being a great missionary. And I am glad that he's serving, I just wish that he were serving a 2 year mission instead of a lifetime one. Just wish more than anything that he could be here to grow up with our family.



This cruise was amazing! Thanks baby for taking the time to plan it and the desire to want to spend it with us. We had a ball. Thanks mom for taking care of our littlest toad! We sure did miss him! You are the BEST!