'twas the night before Christmas..."

 

Jadesy and his little "Night before Christmas" Bear

 

Jaden is in LOVE with this Bear.  This is the 2nd year that Joanne has lent out this bear that tells the Night Before Christmas.  We got it for a week and Jaden NEVER let it out of his sight.  It went with us EVERYWHERE from the grocery store to all of the various Christmas shopping errands I've been running while Corb has been in Kindergarten. He is constantly hugging it and pushing the button on his hand to tell the story.  He loved to go up in his room and sit in his little rocker and rock while the bear read the Night before Christmas.  It was sooo cute.  We had to hide the bear so we could give it back so that he wouldn't be sad.  

He's the most snuggly little baby we've ever had.  I love that he still continues to lay his head on our shoulders and just let us hold him.  Such a tender little mercy I'm sure.  Coby and I love every single minute.  One day he won't do it any more and he'll be big before we know it.  I need to remember this when he's trying with all his might to tug us around by the pant leg or by grabbing our hands to take him somewhere...while we're in the middle of something.  Someday all we'll have are these little memories and so today...I'm soaking them up.  I love this little boy.  He is so full of sweetness.  He tries my patience that's for sure, but when he lays his head on my shoulder the world becomes right again and I don't want it to ever end. 

Decorating Jack's tree

 

Here's our little family...you can't quite see us all because one decided to become invisible!  STINKER!!

Here's Jack's tree

Here's all the helpers

Here's our little Toad...I tell ya, if they aren't missing a sock...it's a GLOVE!

I LOVE this picture of Jades and Poppy

Every year about a week before Christmas both sides of our family (whoever can come) come out to the cemetery and decorate Jack's little tree.  It was pretty cold...like usual so we don't tend to stay too long.  We decorate quickly and then sing a Christmas song.  This year I wanted to opt out of singing "Silent Night".  It used to be one of my favorites, but I just can't bare the part that says, "...infant so tender and mild....sleep in heavenly peace...sleep in heavenly peace."  I know the song is definitely NOT talking about our Jack, but the song really touches my heart and then the water works start and then I can't turn them off.  And in this weather I'm afraid the tears would freeze right to my face!  

Every time we go to the cemetery (a place NO PARENT should EVER have to visit at Christmas time) I always look for a little grave near Jack's.  She was a little girl who lived almost to the day as long as Jack.  I often wonder why she's there, was there an accident, was she sick for a long time?  Sometimes I like to think that Jack knows her and when they "wake" up they'll find each other and fall in love.  I know....I'm living in a dream world!  :)  I'm a loon, what can I say?!  Sometimes it's just nice to dream I guess...anything is better than the reality that he's only with us in spirit!  And "in spirit" just doesn't fit bill when it's Christmas and you want all three of your little boys to open their presents and see the excitement on the faces of ALL THREE LITTLE BOYS.  Someday I'll have that...just not today. And in the words of my sweet Mother in law..."Everything will be okay in a few years."  All I want to know is....how long is a few years?!  :)

Breakfast with Santa

Sitting on Santa

Santa:  "Have you been naughty or nice?"

Corbin: "Uhhhhh.....well, you see...."

 

All the little kidlings

Joanne and her sisters each host a Breakfast with Santa every year.  It's super fun!  So much thought goes into planning it.  Even the Santa looked real...I mean....  The REAL Santa sure did "look" his part...rosey cheeks and all!  And the kids LOVED every single second of it.  Thanks for keeping things so magical Momma Jo!  We love you and your sisters for all the time and effort that was put into making this a go!

Picking out Jack's little tree

It's a tradition in the Rich family to go over to Cumming's Christmas tree lot and pick out a Christmas tree.  It's becoming our little family's tradition to pick our a special little tree for our special little Angel.  They have a huge bin of peanuts and everyone throws peanuts at each other as we're trying to find the perfect tree.  I don't think we're supposed to do that...but it sure is fun!  One of these days I'm going get those crazy brothers of Coby's!  :)  If you ever need to get a tree, I'd highly recommend Cumming's.   

Dinner before at Hire's with most of the Rich's.

Me and my sweet sweet boy giving me a little love!

When we were trying to pick out our little tree I asked the man in charge how much the little trees were.  He originally quoted me $25.  I didn't think that price was too bad so I asked him to hold the tree until I could find Coby.  When Cobe came over to see it, the man must have heard us talking about it being a tree for Jack's grave.  The man sweetly approached us and made sure we knew that the price was no longer $25, but for us it was $12.50.  My heart melted at the kindness of this man.  He didn't have to give us a deal and we were happy to pay the original price, but this man saw a chance to serve and he quickly acted on it.  That's one of the reasons I love Christmas time so much.  For a little over a month, people seem to be a little more kind, a little more patient and much more generous.  The thought no longer is for one's self, but becomes more that for someone else.  I do wish that the Christmas season was longer...not for the chaos that comes with it, or the 5 extra pounds I worked for 2 months getting off, or even the countless number of parties, but I love this time of year because it gives us all a chance to show others what Christmas is really about.  A chance for others to show kindness that they may not ordinarily have shown.  May we all take the time to remember what this Christmas season is all about.  May we all remember that Christmas is about CHRIST and finding joy therein. 

Fake it!

I Like the picture of Jack (above) because it couldn't be a more fake smile.  Something I'm certain he's inherited from me.  Amy...I'm sure you are nodding your head right now!  :)  (She's always telling me to smile my "real" smile!  :) 

They say..."fake it til you make it".  This season I've been doing A LOT of that!  There is only a handful of close friends with that I'll even let on that I'm having a rough time.  It's Christmas, the time to be with one's family, what am I expecting?!! Happiness??  Please!   It's just hard to come to the realization that life does in fact move on.  People move on.  You are no longer on their minds anymore and if you are they are no longer telling you.  And that's okay.  My grandparents gave me a beautiful picture that reads, "Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never the same."  I've come to realize that the Lord in His infinite wisdom places people in our lives sometimes only briefly.   

 I've decided that instead of sitting here realizing what I'm left without, maybe I had better start thinking of what I do have and how truly blessed I really am.  I know who those negative feelings are coming from and and I'm NOT going to let him win.  I don't have to be sad.  I don't have to become reclusive and stay away from my family because I'm in such a mood that I don't want to take out my frustrations on them.  I know it's okay to miss Jack and crying is definitely allowed, but sometimes I get the impression that a certain miserable someone wants me to get pretty low into the depths of sorrow and finds happiness in it.  And I'm not going to give in to him.  I may not be happy all the time, but I try to be and I try even harder to fake it.  Because after all, maybe if I fake it long enough things will be good. 

I love this picture of Jades and I.  It's a genuine smile on both our ends.  We are happy!  Lately Jaden and I have really started to bond.  I am really falling in love with this little boy.  He's getting so fun and cute and I am eating up every single second of it.  I love that he lets me bite his the sides of his little jawbone and throws his head back for more.  His giggle is so contagious! I love that he growls when he gets frustrated...and frustrated he gets.  I love that he loves to push the little musical leapster on the fridge and dances around in a circle with a HUGE grin on his cute little face.  He's so helpful too!  Always wanting to throw away his diapers!  That's definitely a treat!  He discovered the handle on the toilet and LOVES pushing the handle down.  If he notices something that needs to be thrown away, like Jack, he just bends down, picks it up and heads straight for the garbage can....maybe that's where my watch went??!!  And have you ever met a kid who LOVES chocolate more than anything??!!  If he could live on the stuff he would I assure you!  This kid is really a mini-Tif.  The day before Coby and I left for D.C., Jades and I had the BEST DAY EVER!  We shopped and shopped and worked out and despite the fact that he only got a 20 minute nap and I had YW (always at the same time he goes to bed) he was such a little trooper.  I found myself smiling and happy all day.  The whole world felt right again. He made my whole day and at the end of the day after we had put him to bed, I went to sleep missing him.  Aching to play with him just a little longer.  A feeling I haven't felt in a long time....almost 2 years ago in fact.  I am going to try harder to be the mom I was on Tuesday.  I had more patience and a lot more happiness in my heart than I've felt in a long while....

Ward Christmas Party

Me and my little toad

Corb doing what he loves best....CRAFTS!!!

We have such a GREAT ward.  It will be a sad sad day when we finally decide to move.  NOT any time soon...so no worries!  But if only there was a way to pick and choose who was going to be in your next ward!  OH the joys!  :)  We've sure made some great friends in this ward though.

Jaden giving us a hint!!  TIME TO GO!!

Washington D.C.

Me touching a piece of the moon at the Space Museum in D.C.

Coby was so sweet to take me on a little business trip to D.C.....One of my FAVORITE cities!  There is always sooo much to see and NEVER enough time to see it all in.  My mom was sweet to take the little monkeys while we were gone.  I was able to listen to my book, "The hunger games." I didn't like it at first because it didn't make a whole lot of sense...then I realized that my Ipod was on SHUFFLE!  NICE...so I fixed it and LOVED the book.  Coby only had a few lectures to give, so we were able to spend a lot of time together.  It was definitely appreciated!  I love spending every minute with him!  

My favorite museum this year was the Space Museum.  We were able to stand in on this GREAT lady giving a tour about each of the planes.  VERY interesting!  All I could think about was my Grandpa Burton and how he would be IN AWE.  I bet he knows about as much as she did about each plane.  He was a pilot in WWII and well...I think he pretty much knows everything!  :)  Coby and I decided that THAT should be the job for my Grandpa.  It would definitely be a time filler!  :)

I can't believe that we only got like two pictures...but it's okay next time we'll take more.  So great to be with Coby and know that our kidlings were doing just great in good old Salt Lake City.  Thanks mom!  We LOVE you!  And so do our little monkeys!

Our 2010 family pictures

This is what Corb thought of us kissing!  :)

Pat and Anna-Lisa were so kind to take our pictures this year.  I think he did a pretty good job!  :)  At any rate...at least we're current right?!  :)

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thankgiving!  This year was the Rich's turn to host the dinner.  We switch off every year between the Rich's the Burton's...aka The Larson's!  :)  This year we were missing our Bobby and Sara and little Dunkers.  But have NO fear, leave it to Joanne to come up with some sort of activity for the whole family to play during dinner.  This year she made up little sayings and placed them on everyone's plate.  My saying was "These mashed potatoes is SO CREAMY..." from While you were sleeping.  (on a side note...Joanne and I ALWAYS say this to each other even if we're NOT eating mashed potatoes!)  So, the way the game worked was, that everyone's saying was linked to each other and cued the other people to say their little saying.  I hope that makes sense...  But, it was a riot to hear everyone go on and on!  It was hilarious!  

 

Here's my little Jadesy baby.  I love this hat my mom bought for him.  And he loves it too!  He will keep it on all day and actually try to put it on himself.  This kid actually Loves hats.  We can't pass the hat section in Target without having to stop and try on a few.  It's really cute!

OOOOh, I love that baby!

Here's Cobe and I and Ben and Whit at dinner.  I made those sweet yams - NO MARSHMALLOW, but they may as well have been a dessert because it's mostly brown sugar with a side of yams!  :) 

And then it was off to Lanae's house.  I LOVE this girl!  I look forward to seeing every single week and Thanksgiving is NO exception!  :) 

d

This year was the first year without my sweet Grandma Burton.  We miss her so much.  But my Grandpa surely must struggle the most without his sweetheart by his side.  He told me that he sets the table for one and he cries.  Then he eats alone and he cries.  Then he washes his dish and he cries.  It breaks my heart every time I think about it.  I'm sure he wishes his time is short so they won't have to be apart so long.  I know I do...but only for that reason.  

This year my aunts on my dad's side of the family decided to come up and get Grandpa so he wouldn't be alone for the holidays.  He had his 98 year old sister with him and aside from a little hard of hearing, she was a sharp as a tack!  :)  I'm glad he has his sister there for company.  I'm sure the longing for my Grandma will never go away, but I hope that being surrounded by family will help ease the pain a bit.

I am so thankful so so many things!  I have much to be grateful for.  I am most grateful for our loving Heavenly Father and for the gift of his Son.  For without that, I'd never have the hope of holding my sweet Jack again.  What a blessing it is to have the gospel in my life and in the life of my family.  To know for a surety that we are an eternal family and have the opportunity to be together forever...such a gift is greater than any I could ever imagine.  I'm thankful for my sweet WONDERFUL Coby.  He is my rock and without I don't know how I could function...how I did function before I met him.  He is by far the greatest thing that has every happened to me.  And worth every single second of sadness and grief if I got to call him mine.  I love him more than anything.  I am grateful for my boys.  They teach me something every single day and make me want to be a better person.  Corbin constantly shows me to look at things in a more simple way.  He teaches me that it's okay to be silly and it's okay to cry...but more fun to be silly.  He's such a smartie...obviously from Coby!  Jack...what can I say about Jack that hasn't already been said.  He's one of the three reason I drag myself out of bed every single day.  I know he's busy being a missionary and doing the work that needed to be done by someone so innocent and pure.  I know that he's working on our heavenly and eternal mansion and to him I am grateful that I had the opportunity, though brief to be called his mom.  Jades, that little boy gets more and more fun every single day.  He makes me giggle and want to get on the floor and play on his level.  He has definitely been teaching me to have patience...that's for sure!  I love him and his sweet beautiful smile and contagious laugh!  I love my family and my in laws.  They do more for me than I will ever be able to thank them for.  They are loving and caring, never judgemental and always ready with a warm hug and listening ear.  I could write a novel on everyone in the family and how they have touched my life for good, but I'll save it for another day.  I'm thankful for good friends who have stood by me through our darkest hours and continue to hold us up.  We love you.  We are thankful for you....all of you.  My heart is full as I write this and I know that the Lord truly has been generous.  Very Generous!

That cute face just about sums it up....

It's been a tough couple of weeks here in the Rich household. We've been sick...and keep getting more and more sick. NO RELIEF! We didn't go to church today and today feels like the longest. day. EVER!


We thought we'd get a headstart and decided to start putting up a few of the Christmas Decorations. Since we were fortunate enough to keep Jack's tree from the Festival of Trees, we saran wrap it up every year so as to not undo all the hard work and effort that went into making it so pretty. Coby brought up the tree and and the Christmas bin and I started putting things out. We even turned on the movie Elf.


I should be happy and in the Christmas spirit...but I'm not. I keep seeing those big blue eyes looking at me and all I want to do is cry. I want to throw a fit like Jack is in picture above. (I really don't know why he's crying there or why I thought I should take that picture.....). But maybe it's because Jades is grumpy right now and needs to go to bed. Or because I made this super yummy banana bread that is so moist, you'd swear it wasn't cooked all the way through, and Corbin decided to eat bunch of the top of the bread off. Or maybe I'm sick and need more Nyquil.


I have MUCH to be grateful for, but tonight...I'm just not feeling grateful for all that I should be. Maybe after I have a good cry and a good nights sleep, things will look different to me in the morning. So, I'm raising my medicine cap of Nyquil to you all and saying....Here's to tomorrow!

When Aunt Sommy come for a visit

 

It's always such a treat with Aunt Sommy comes over.  As you can see, the boys just love her.  We don't get to see her as much as we used to because of her busy work schedule, but are always so excited for the times we are able to spend.  The other day I overheard Corbin talking to his Aunt Ambie..."Oh, Ambie...it would make my WHOLE WORLD if you were here."  I thought it was pretty sweet!  We have so many amazing aunts on both mine and Coby's sides of the family.  They are spectacular and I wouldn't trade them for the world!  :)