Jim's Angelversary

I can't believe it's been a whole year since we've seen our sweet Poppy! 

We all decided to have a little picnic at his gravesite and share stories of this incredible man!

We had a great turn out from the Rich's.

Joanne shared pictures and stories from his younger years.

He was quite the athlete!  Baseball, Football....

We all got balloons....

And sent them straight to Heaven just for Jim.

This picture gets me every time.  I know she misses him so much.  We all do...but the look in her eyes of hope and sadness all at the same time makes me tear up.  

Here is Honey surrounded by the littlest admirers that adore her in every way!  I am sure Jim was there.  And I'm certain that he's proud of the way his sweetheart has handled his leaving.  It's been hard...every day...but she's done it gracefully...and continues to do so.  We miss you Jim.  We hate that you are not here to read with Corbin and have bananas and milk whenever we want.  We miss your sighs.  We miss your blunt tact...but most of all we miss your kindness, love and genuine interest in everyone.  We know you are busy, but it's still hard every day.  Stay Close Poppy...we still need you!

"Date" night

Coby and I had tickets to go see Blue Man Group.

Since we couldn't get a sitter and I didn't really want to go... we let the boys choose which parent they wanted to have a "date" with and went our separate ways.  There was a TON of drama between the two boys, but after about an HOUR...it was decided!  Corb decided to hang with me and Jades went with Coby to see Blue Man Group.

They had a BALL!  Quite literally!  In the show they throw these huge beach balls around the crowd and Jaden was STOKED that he was able to throw one!  He also like the part when the announcer spouted off every single word for the word "Butt" and told everyone to "shake it!".  Coby said it was super cute and funny!  He also stayed entertained for the entire show!  :)

Corb and I decided to hit the Nickle Cade.  He was so cute trying to win me prizes out of the grab machine.  We weren't  successful, but got lots of tickets and some fun prizes at the end.  Then he agreed to hit Savers for a little thrifting.  It was GREAT!  He really got into actually looking at stuff and in the end we both came home with a little something fun!  Then we finished up the night with a couple tacos from Taco Bell.  (I know...what were we thinking....??!!)

Tonight was so fun!  It was great to spend a little one on one with each one of the boys.  I think we'll start making it a monthly thing.  

April Fools

It's definitely NO secret that I love to play little pranks on those I love the most!  This year...Corbin got to reap the benefits!  

I was making his lunch and asked him if we wanted an oreo cookie with his breakfast.  Well, who can turn down one of those...especially when you aren't supposed to have them a 7am!  CORBIN...that's WHO!  ONLY....instead of the yummy creamy center...the BEST part...I filled it with toothpaste! Doesn't he look thrilled!!!

Later today he'll get another surprise in his lunch!!  Muuuaaaahhhhaaaaa!

16 months - 3 days old

Today this cute little stinker turned 16 months and 3 days old.

Why is this so significant?  Because 5 1/2 years ago that's the exact age Jack was when he was called home permanently.  After we lost Jack, I wanted a baby more than I have EVER wanted anything in my whole life.  We were so blessed when we were quickly pregnant with Jaden a few weeks later.  The pregnancy was a breeze and I only gained 20 lbs.  Then Jaden arrived and I was head over heels in love with him.  But soon after he was born I felt like something was a little off for me.  Jaden wasn't the easiest baby and I think that subconsciously I wouldn't even allow myself to love him like I loved Jack because there is and always would be a chance that he could be called home as well.  But after he turned 16 months and 3 days...it was like my heart was able to completely open up and love him with all the love that I could possible give and then some.  It was a good feeling.  

Well, today Coleson reached that milestone.  It's no secret that from the start of this pregnancy up until even now, Cole has not exactly been the easiest and most dreamy baby.  He's been a challenge to say the least.  It's been so difficult that the thought of having another baby makes me so exhausted.  Crazy exhausted like when you are so sleep deprived after 3 weeks of a newborn.  Things have gotten better.  He's getting a lot easier, but still seems to be more work than the others.  Coby tells me that I'm just not remembering correctly!  I feel like a complete jerk when I think of others and the challenges they deal with their own children due to illness and different handicaps.  Then I can usually snap out of my funk and see Cole for what he is...just a baby.  A normal baby.  Some babies are easier than others I have come to know.  

I'm just so happy that he's here.  I'm so happy to be his mom.  I love this short tempered little boy more than words could ever say!  He's sick right now.  He has a nasty virus and another ear infection.  He's been running a low grade fever since Sunday on and off.  He's been extra clingy and snuggly (a definite sign that he's not feeling well because he's NEVER snuggly unless he's really tired).  He's happy when he is in the tub taking a bath.  He's been babbling all day and it's the sweetest sounds I've ever heard.  I could sit and watch him do it all day.  I hope he feels better, but I'm enjoying the tender moments I'm being given.

Joanne's Birthday Girl's Weekend

Happy Birthday Momma Jo!  You are SO loved!!!  

Look at all those smiling faces ready to "help" you blow out your candles!  

We went to dinner later that week at Little America with just the adults.  It was pretty yummy!  At the end they brought out the most delicious German Chocolate Cake and....I loved it...maybe a little too much!! Nice choice...lady after my own heart!

Then the girls all headed back to Joanne's for a little stay-cation.  We all hopped in the hot tub for a much deserved soak. We did our nails!  And now, I think I'm hooked....I may have to buy all the shellac stuff!  Thanks ALOT Marse and Whitney!! Then we settled in and watched an old classic with Rock Hudson.  It was so funny!  I love old movies!  

The next day we woke up and went to the MDA walk in honor of Jim.  Joanne was able to rally the troops and raise almost $3000 for the cause!  I sure wished there was a cure.  

After the walk we headed back to Joanne's, freshened up and then headed to Cafe Rio.  I love their Saturday shrimp tacos.  YUMMO!  Then it was off to get our toes beautified so we could do a little feet flirtin'!  My pedi was super short...but I got to stay in the chair and get a great little back rub!  It was so nice to just sit there chatting together and relaxing while the Bok Toks (as Joanne so cutely says) magically made our feet so pretty!  Marse had a little issue trying to get her skinny jeans to roll back down!  It was pretty comical!  After the pedis we did a little shopping.  

This weekend was fabulous!  It's always a treat to be with Joanne and my cute sister in laws!  Coby was a super trooper and manned the fort with the boys.  I even came home to a clean house.  I sure love that handsome husband of mine!  Happy Birthday Joanne!  Thanks for letting us be a part of your birthday! I know that Jim was there and wished that he could give you a birthday surprise. He told me to tell you "Cordova"??!!  Whatever that means!  :) You are amazing and everyone blessed to be near you can feel your sunshine!  :) 

MDA Walk

Joanne has been actively involved in doing whatever she can to aid the MDA (Muscular Distrophy Association) in honor of Jim.  

Today we were able to do a charity walk for the MDA.  We had a lot of support from both sides of the family.

Here's our Jim...doing what he loved best!  I'm sure he was there on the walk with us in spirit.   

 FINALLY, a shot of our whole family!

 I tried to show Cole the big bunny...he did NOT appreciate it!

 He kept checking to see if the bunny was gone and where exactly he was so that we couldn't "accidentally" bump into him again!

One last shot of our Rich Family.  I am happy that we were able to help contribute to this cause in Jim's honor.  I wish there was a cure.  I wish that Jim was still here.  But I bet if you really look hard you can probably see him standing right behind Joanne.  I know that he was there today.  We all felt him.  Joanne has been such a trooper staying strong and doing all she can to continue to serve others through noble causes such as these.  We love you both!  

SURE Delight!

If this picture doesn't SCREAM pure delight....

Today Coby got the replacement battery for the hot wheels jeep.  (Long story short...our dishonest neighbor from our old house STOLE ours and then LIED about it...what...I'm not bitter!!!) and it's taken us a while to get another one ordered!

Jaden could hardly finish dinner because he was so excited to get out there and take the old jeep for a little evening spin!  Once Cole noticed what all the excitement was about, he ran as fast as his little legs would go to claim his seat next to Jaden!  They rode around the culd-a-sac until it got dark and Coby had to quite literally drag them inside!  It's always a treat to see smiles that big on the boys' faces!  :)  It makes bad days not seem so bad!  :)

"Victims" of a little green Leprechaun

The boys made sure to wear GREEN to avoid being pinched when they woke up.   I thought it was cute until Coby reminded me that I was not exempt from the "green" rule...and I knew that there would be a whole lot of pinching if I woke up without it!  So, despite being so cozy in bed the night before...I got up anyway!

That crazy leprechaun got into EVERYTHING....just look at those green pancakes.  (well, they are supposed to be green...but you can't really see it that well!  :)

He even got into the kids milk and apple juice! 

 And from what I was told he may have even peed in the 1/2 bathroom!  :)

Good times!  It's always fun to wake up and celebrate silly holidays!  The boys get a kick out of it and that makes any hassle worth it!

And he's UP

HOLY COW!!!

I can hardly believe it!  It took this kid 2 tries and he was UP and ready to go!  He LOVES riding his bike and feeling like a BIG kid!  He wasn't ever scared and didn't even cry when he fell down.  He just kept getting back up and hopping back on the bike!  That's my boy!!  LOVE that cute little Jadesy babe of mine!  :) 

Jaden/Daddy Make-up Date

Coby was true to his word and asked Jaden where he wanted to go for a special Daddy/Jaden date!

Blue Man group isn't my cup of tea...so Coby opted to take one of the boys instead.  Jaden was the lucky winner!  Coby said he had so much fun!  Jaden calls them "aliens" and loved the parts about the "balls" and all the different names for your "butt".  Typical!  :)  They had fun and made some good memories together!  :)  Love that Coby does fun things with our boys to make them feel loved and oh so special! BEST. DAD. EVER!!!

Boy's Weekend in Sunny St. George

Coby and Corbin got a little invite from Dan and Preston Carter (cousin's on the Patterson side) to head down to sunny St. George and have a little boys weekend.  They golfed...and when I say golf, I mean Dan and Coby golfed and Corb and Preston searched for golf balls.  I heard that Corbin may have accidentally been hit with Coby's club slightly...in the....well...you KNOW where!  Then they headed up the canyon for a mountain bike ride.  They all had a GREAT time until Corb flew forward on the handle bars and may have landed on that pole in the middle of the bike.  Poor Corb.  Coby said it looked like it hurt quite a bit.  I sure hope he can have children one day!  :)  

Cobe said that Corb and Preston had an absolute ball together.  

It's so nice that Corb is getting to the age that he can actually do outdoorsy things with Coby.  There is nothing he loves more than to spend time with his dad.  Jaden on the other hand was pretty disappointed...but I'm sure Cobe will make it up to him later in the week.

Just like Daddy

Coby's work does a lot with the colors Red and White.  They even gave everyone on the marketing team fun red and white sneakers.  I won't lie...I think Cobe looks pretty cute when he wears them.  But I found these ADORABLE little look-a-likes for Cole and they were a perfect fit.  I'm LOVING dressing him up and since he's crazy about shoes or "shoosh" as he likes to say....it was a win win for everyone!!  :)

Gold and Blue Banquet

I can't believe that Corb is big enough to be a cub scout!!!  It's official...he's now a Wolf...and I'm the den mother!  CRAZY!  I'm not sure I'm the right gal for the job...but I guess you don't really get to pick your favorite callings in church.  My cute mother in law says that it's "my duty" (since I am currently the mother to all boys).  Speaking of "duty", the cub scout promise talks about "doing my duty...".  It is all I can do not to laugh as I look at Corbin ready to bust out laughing and seeing if anyone else noticed that they said the word "duty".  BOYS!!!  I didn't have an official boy scouts shirt and since I REFUSE...let me repeat that....REFUSE to purchase such an UGLY, not to mention EXPENSIVE shirt...I'll improvise with a navy dress, a mustard cardigan and a fun belt.  Hey my boots are leather...and that's kind of boy scouty right?!!  

Well, it'll be an adventure...but I'm ready to give it a go!  If not else comes from this, at least I'll get to spend a little more time with Corbin.  I sure love that boy and hate that he's growing up so quickly!

Happy Valentines Day!

Happy Valentines Day!!

 This morning I woke up early and made my family homemade heart shaped IHOP pancakes with the works.
 
 Jaden woke up early and became my little helper.

 I love having special breakfasts together, especially before everyone starts their busy days.

Even this little one was enjoying it!

Here are the boys' Valentines we made this year.

 I accidentally forgot to take picture of Jaden holding his sucker before we handed them all out!  Ooops!

Coby and I don't usually do much for Valentine's Day, but this year we celebrated a day earlier with dinner at Christopher's Steak house and a sealing session at the Jordan River Temple for dessert!  Dinner was okay.  Our waiter was a jerk and even went as far as rolling his eyes and laughing at Coby for his choice in dinner.  We were late because of him and for our session...but the good Lord helped us get there just in the nick of time! 

It was so nice to feel the Spirit as we held hands and looked into each other's eyes across the alter tonight. I love this Coby So much!  SO SO much!  He's truly the love of my life and the reason I want to be better every single day.  Some days I'm sure it may not seem like it, but I want to be the person he deserves!  Because Coby is more than I could ever deserve!  :)  He's amazing in every sense of the word!  How did I get so lucky??!!

 Later that night we made homemade Heart shaped stromboli. 

 
 It was a HIT!  

 
Aunt Ambie joined us for a glutenous carb overload of flour and sugar!  Then we all got into our jams and settled in to watch a movie.  We watched Ender's Game.  Not my first choice...but the boys seemed to like it and I actually stayed awake for most of it and didn't play on my phone!  :) 

 All in all the Valentine's Day was a success!  I so HEART this family of mine!

A bad day...wait a bad WEEK

Have I mentioned that life with Cole hasn't been particularly easy lately?!! 

I'm trying....I really am! But there is only so much I can take before the woman that woke up hoping to be Mary Poppins all day quickly turns into Cruella Deville!  Today has been INSANE!  I feel like I've been running around with my head cut off.  Corb's been off track for the past 2 weeks.  Jaden thinks HE should be "off track" as well.   Getting him to preschool has been fun let me tell you!  I took Corbin to the dentist today and was informed that he had 5 cavities! 5!!!  Are you freaking kidding me??!!!  It turns out that he only had 4...but don't worry...he had to do a small root canal on one of them!  Good times! Can't wait for that bill!

Today we were supposed to head down to Lehi for the boys to be in a short commercial for Coby's work.  It had already been a LONG day already and Cole wasn't particularly in the best of moods.  I was debating cancelling.  I didn't. Instead I went with the WORST attitude!  It was like I was this big black rain cloud bringing GLOOM and DOOM everywhere I went! And it was hard NOT to be affected by it!  After the boys made their debute, we had a little lunch, and I yelled at everyone all the way home to keep Cole awake, we finally made it home.  I put Cole to bed and then had a little breakdown to my mom.  I told her that I was just going to hop on the elliptical and try to get some good endorphins going to hopefully lighten my horrendous attitude.

No sooner had I got the older boys settled, put on my work out clothes, when I saw her white little camry pull up in my driveway.  I watched her fiddling with something and then she stepped out holding a big chocolate candy bar and pretty pink roses.  I was instantly HUMBLED.

She didn't need to do it.  She definitely had every reason to get in her car and NEVER come back after the way I acted today.  But she didn't.  She looked for an opportunity to serve even someone as undeserving as ME!  It changed my attitude and after I had a good cry and told her how sorry I was, I found the courage to appologize to everyone else I'd hurt that day.  Thank goodness they are bigger than me forgive quickly and easily.  

How grateful I am for my mom.  She comes over sometimes daily to help me and spend the day with me. She's one of my best friends and I am so lucky to have been blessed with such an amazing mom!  I love you Mom and hope that I can be half the mom you are to me!

Corb's visit to dentist

A few weeks ago Corbin and Coby went to the dentist for a cleaning.  Coby came home and told me Corb had cavity. A Cavity as in what I thought meant ONE!

 

 You can imagine my shock and surprise when she said it was actually 5! 5 cavities!  At first I looked at the hygienist and asked her if I heard her correctly...I told her I must have been hallucinating because it sounded like she said 5!  And once I pulled my JAW up off the floor...they proceeded to give Corb a shot to numb his gums.

 After getting completely numb the dentist started going to town...to DRILL town! Then he said that it looked like Corbin didn't actually have 5 cavities...but only 4.  That was great....and then in next breath he said..."But it looks like we're going to have to do a mini root canal on one of them." GREAT!

4 Cavities and a mini Root Canal??!!  Are you trying to kill me kid??!!! I'm NOT looking forward to that bill!  I hope you start taking better care of your teeth or you will quickly be OUT of the running for favorite kid! :) 

Who needs little girls...

When you have as much drama in this house with a 14 month old,  4.5 going on 13 year old and an 8 year old going on 16...

who needs little girls?!!!

Lately this little guy has been making want to pull my hair out!!  As you can see from the picture he's just whining....that seems like all he does these days!  He whines to be held, throws tantrums when it doesn't happen and then all the water works start and usually ends up all over the front of my pants. I haven't had to wash my clothes this much in my entire life as I have had to with Cole!  By the end of the day they are so loaded with so much crusty snot I want to scream!

I'm not sure what to do to be a good mommy to him.  I try to be patient!  I do!  I really really try!  I've even been reading a book called "A mother's book of secrets." by Shawni Eyre Pothie and her mother Lynda Eyre.  It's GREAT...if you ever get the chance to read it!  It's about finding hope and joy in the trenches of motherhood.  I've been starting each day with reading my scriptures and saying my prayers.  I have been praying for patience with my kids and to not get caught up in the things that just don't really matter.  But...after Coby and Corbin leave for work and school...Hell becomes my life.  Cole is so hard.  He is a hard baby.  Coby says I just don't remember what it was like with the others...but I think HE doesn't remember!  I remember it being hard...but not hard like this!  I dread going to bed at night because I know that it's just a matter of hours before I have to open my eyes and have this ground hog experience again.

Lately Jaden has been throwing complete tantrums when I drop him off for preschool.  The kind of tantrums that involve kicking, screaming and going absolutely limp when his sweet teacher tries to help him.  It takes me 10 minutes to get out of there.  And then I leave feeling horrible!  Horrible because I left him screaming like that.  Horrible because I left him screaming like that with his teacher and what she'll have to do calm him down and hope that it doesn't affect the rest of the class.

Corbin is the least of my worries.  He's a huge tease...but the second that I am on his level and speaking kindly to him...he's AMAZING!  I worry about his reading.  I got a letter from the school stating that he wasn't on correct level for 3rd grade.  He's really sensitive about it.  Each time we talk to him about it...he takes it as a personal insult and that he's not smart.  Not at all true!  I think he's brilliant!  Reading is sometimes hard!  I get it!  I just want to help him and I don't know where to start! He's struggling with comprehending what he's reading.  I worry because his teachers told me that if he doesn't get reading down and I mean really DOWN, he'll feel like he's drowning when 4th grade rolls around.  They say that the teachers will expect him to be reading on a 4th grade level and won't take the time to really work with him the way he will need most.  It makes me nervous. 

I know that this all sounds harsh...but I'm having a hard time finding the joy right now.  I am grateful Cole is here and I'd take all this drama and constant whining all day every day forever over NOT.  But the thought of having another baby makes me so exhausted...the kind of exhausted you feel when you are so tired and burnt out that you find yourself staring blankly off into space!  And when you realize you are doing this...you start wondering how long you've actually been doing it!  I don't know if it's because I've been having babies for 9 years now and I'm older and don't have as much energy as I used to.  Maybe it's because over the years I've developed a crazy sense of trying to be in control of everything.  I want my house perfectly cleaned, things in their correct places.  I don't like plans to change suddenly.  I don't feel like I'm as fun or the "fly by my seat" kind of girl I used to think I was once was.

What I've come to understand is that nothing is going to be perfect!  Nothing is going to go exactly as I have it planned in my head.  And I need to come to terms with that.  I am learning that it's okay for things to NOT be perfect! The boys aren't going to care about how clean our house was growing up.  The things they will remember are the games we played and the books we read together.  They will remember the one on one time. The times we spent as a family laughing and having fun together.

 I am going to try to let things go...I'm going to try to not care that the kitchen floor isn't swept.  I am going to try and focus on my family and how I'm affecting their lives.  Am I influencing them for good or for bad?  Am I yelling more or talking kindly to them.  Is the TV on?  Am I letting electronics raise them this week or am I going to be a One on One kind of mom?  

I'm choosing the latter....I'm praying for a miracle...because I'm going to need it!  But I know that the Lord will not let me down if I'm doing my best.  So...here's to trying...and letting things go!